Post by galskap on Nov 18, 2008 20:27:23 GMT
Yesterday I rode my horse Intinn out, alone, for the first time!
This might not sound like any big thing but it's something that has taken quite a bit of experimenting and soul-searching for me. And there's been plenty of lessons for me in it, so I thought I'd share my joys and thoughts here on the forum...
We've attempted this several times in the past, and invariably he has got so distressed and anxious that I thought it best to dismount and lead him home. I think we would have had an accident otherwise. (He's always been excellent in company with others, by the way. ) After all the work and long leadrope walks we'd done, it felt like a bit of a defeat. And it made me realize that I obviously wasn't on the right track with him. It made me ask myself about the relationship we had and the amount of trust that was in it. Obviously not enough for us to feel safe with each other. So what about me could my horse trust in?
Could he trust that I would, at all times, preserve his dignity? No. I have never “lost my temper” with him or around him; never expressed anger or frustration in an obvious way. But I have betstowed him with the burden of my ambitions and expectations. I have, in my impatience, put more pressure on him that has been ok for him, justifying it with “This is not a lot of pressure to put on a horse, really.” “He should really be able for this. We've done it before; he should be able to do it now.”
Should he? Decides who? Am I some God, or some “Horse Expert”, to judge him like that? Intinn certainly didn't share this viewpoint, anyway. He knew he didnt owe me anything. He is independent, dignified and he had no time for that kind of attitude. He let me know that in whatever way he could. And he needed to be quite expressive to get me to see the picture.
Could he trust me to be an alert leader? Could he know that whatever dangers lurk out in the big world, I would be aware of them, and take desicions that would keep us safe? Not at all. How much of the time we spent together, walking in the lead rope, did I spend present in the moment, with a broad view of the world, noticing what was going on around us? And how much did I spend daydreaming and mind-wandering, or overfocusing on him, thinking about what he could and could not do? He's a careful horse, Intinn, with a keen sense of self-preservation – he's not going to put his life into the hands of a cloudhead just because she tells him to.
So I made a promise to myself, and it went somewhat like this.
- If things get stuck and my horse “dont do what I want”, I _will not_ react simply by increasing the amount of pressure I put on him. I will first stop, take a breath, and bring my attention elsewhere – my feet on the ground, the movement of the landscape, away from “he's not doing it”, notice the tensions in my body and release them. Two times out of three this has been enough for things to loosen up. Otherwise, I've had to change the way I was doing things. Sometimes I had to change plan and do something entirely different, and there's been lessons in that as well.
- To give to my horse what I expect from him. He's not listening. Well am I? Do I acknowledge and honour what he has to say? Do I acknowledge the things that are important to him, or of a concern to him?
- To work with my horse wherever he is, not where he should be according to my own or anyone else's expectations. And to keep my ambitions, insecurities, and other nuts to myself. They are not for my horse to deal with.
And guess what... things has improved between Intinn and me, slowly but surely. There is more quality to the time that we spend together, now that I have slowed down a bit. Yes, he still does his typical Intinn “freeze”, high-strung and “hypnotized” by some possibly dangerous moving dot in the distance. Of course we still have our “stuck” spots, but this is ok now that I have decided that this is not a problem any longer. It can be quite nice to stand by the roadside and just listen to the world. It can feel a bit foolish, (especially when some other local horseman drives by and wonders what on earth I'm doing standing around like that
but because I'm not always rushing to “fix the problem”, he has some basis to believe in me when I say “hey, it's ok, that stuff over there is not going to bother us.”
And yesterday, I could tack up and head down the road with him, bum in saddle. We had proper horrible Irish weather with lashing rain and howling wind, but nothing beats the feeling of achieving something new with your horse! He “froze” twice and the first time I dismounted, lead him for a while, and got up again. The second time I was able to sit in the saddle and gently release him forward past the digger-machine and the men working on the side of the road. We listened to each other all the way and kept each other safe and happy, and we had a lovely canter up the hill...! Needless to say I was delirious, despite being drenched!
And today... today when I came to fetch him from the field he left the herd of his own accord and came to the gate to meet me.. guess whose heart went out...
May I always keep the lessons this horse has given me close to my heart!
-Anya-
This might not sound like any big thing but it's something that has taken quite a bit of experimenting and soul-searching for me. And there's been plenty of lessons for me in it, so I thought I'd share my joys and thoughts here on the forum...
We've attempted this several times in the past, and invariably he has got so distressed and anxious that I thought it best to dismount and lead him home. I think we would have had an accident otherwise. (He's always been excellent in company with others, by the way. ) After all the work and long leadrope walks we'd done, it felt like a bit of a defeat. And it made me realize that I obviously wasn't on the right track with him. It made me ask myself about the relationship we had and the amount of trust that was in it. Obviously not enough for us to feel safe with each other. So what about me could my horse trust in?
Could he trust that I would, at all times, preserve his dignity? No. I have never “lost my temper” with him or around him; never expressed anger or frustration in an obvious way. But I have betstowed him with the burden of my ambitions and expectations. I have, in my impatience, put more pressure on him that has been ok for him, justifying it with “This is not a lot of pressure to put on a horse, really.” “He should really be able for this. We've done it before; he should be able to do it now.”
Should he? Decides who? Am I some God, or some “Horse Expert”, to judge him like that? Intinn certainly didn't share this viewpoint, anyway. He knew he didnt owe me anything. He is independent, dignified and he had no time for that kind of attitude. He let me know that in whatever way he could. And he needed to be quite expressive to get me to see the picture.
Could he trust me to be an alert leader? Could he know that whatever dangers lurk out in the big world, I would be aware of them, and take desicions that would keep us safe? Not at all. How much of the time we spent together, walking in the lead rope, did I spend present in the moment, with a broad view of the world, noticing what was going on around us? And how much did I spend daydreaming and mind-wandering, or overfocusing on him, thinking about what he could and could not do? He's a careful horse, Intinn, with a keen sense of self-preservation – he's not going to put his life into the hands of a cloudhead just because she tells him to.
So I made a promise to myself, and it went somewhat like this.
- If things get stuck and my horse “dont do what I want”, I _will not_ react simply by increasing the amount of pressure I put on him. I will first stop, take a breath, and bring my attention elsewhere – my feet on the ground, the movement of the landscape, away from “he's not doing it”, notice the tensions in my body and release them. Two times out of three this has been enough for things to loosen up. Otherwise, I've had to change the way I was doing things. Sometimes I had to change plan and do something entirely different, and there's been lessons in that as well.
- To give to my horse what I expect from him. He's not listening. Well am I? Do I acknowledge and honour what he has to say? Do I acknowledge the things that are important to him, or of a concern to him?
- To work with my horse wherever he is, not where he should be according to my own or anyone else's expectations. And to keep my ambitions, insecurities, and other nuts to myself. They are not for my horse to deal with.
And guess what... things has improved between Intinn and me, slowly but surely. There is more quality to the time that we spend together, now that I have slowed down a bit. Yes, he still does his typical Intinn “freeze”, high-strung and “hypnotized” by some possibly dangerous moving dot in the distance. Of course we still have our “stuck” spots, but this is ok now that I have decided that this is not a problem any longer. It can be quite nice to stand by the roadside and just listen to the world. It can feel a bit foolish, (especially when some other local horseman drives by and wonders what on earth I'm doing standing around like that
but because I'm not always rushing to “fix the problem”, he has some basis to believe in me when I say “hey, it's ok, that stuff over there is not going to bother us.”And yesterday, I could tack up and head down the road with him, bum in saddle. We had proper horrible Irish weather with lashing rain and howling wind, but nothing beats the feeling of achieving something new with your horse! He “froze” twice and the first time I dismounted, lead him for a while, and got up again. The second time I was able to sit in the saddle and gently release him forward past the digger-machine and the men working on the side of the road. We listened to each other all the way and kept each other safe and happy, and we had a lovely canter up the hill...! Needless to say I was delirious, despite being drenched!
And today... today when I came to fetch him from the field he left the herd of his own accord and came to the gate to meet me.. guess whose heart went out...
May I always keep the lessons this horse has given me close to my heart!
-Anya-
Have karmaed you!! 