Post by drifter6 on Jan 7, 2010 14:52:01 GMT
>
>
>
>
> Dear Horse,
>
> I love you very much, and I truly cherish your presence in my life. I
> would never wish to criticize you in any way. However, there are a few
> trivial details regarding our relationship that I think might bear your
> consideration.
>
> First of all, I am already aware that horses can run faster than I can.
> I do not need you to demonstrate that fact each time I come to get you
> in from the field.
>
> Please remember that I work long and hard to earn the money to keep you
> in the style to which you have become accustomed. In return, I think you
>
> should at least pretend to be glad to see me, even when I'm carrying a
> bridle instead of a bucket of feed.
>
> It should be fairly obvious to you that I am a human being who walks on
> only two legs. I do not resemble a scratching post. Do not think that,
> when you rub your head against me with 1,000 pounds of force behind it,
> I believe that it wasn't your intention to send me flying. I am also
> aware that stomping on my toes while you are pushing me around is
> nothing but adding injury to insult.
>
> I understand I cannot expect you to cover your nose when you sneeze, but
>
> it would be appreciated if you did not inhale large amounts of dirt and
> manure prior to aiming your sneezes at my face and shirt. Also, if you
> have recently filled your mouth with water you do not intend to drink,
> please let it all dribble from your mouth BEFORE you put your head on my
>
> shoulder. In addition, while I know you despise your worming medication,
>
> my intentions in giving it to you are good, and I really do not think I
> should be rewarded by having you spit half of it back out onto my shirt.
>
> Sometimes, I get the feeling that you are confused about the appropriate
>
> roles you should play in various situations. One small bit of advice:
> Your stone-wall imitation should be used when I am mounting and your
> speed-walker imitation when I suggest that we proceed on our way, not
> vice versa. Please also understand that jumping is meant to be a mutual
> endeavor. By "mutual", I mean that we are supposed to go over the jump
> together. You were purchased to be a mount, not a catapult.
>
> I know the world is a scary place when your eyes are on the sides of
> your head, but I did spend a significant amount of money to buy you, and
>
> I have every intention of protecting that investment. Therefore, please
> consider the following when you are choosing the appropriate behavior
> for a particular situation:
>
> When I put your head collar on you, attach one end of a lead rope to the
> head collar, and tie the other end of the lead rope to a post or ring or
> whatever, I am indicating a desire for you to remain in that locale. I
> would also like the head collar, lead rope, post, etc., to remain intact.
>
> While I admit that things like sudden loud noises can be startling, I do
>
> not consider them to be acceptable excuses for repeatedly snapping
> expensive new lead ropes (or head collars or posts) so that you can run
> madly around the yard creating havoc in your wake. Such behavior is not
> conducive to achieving that important goal that I know we both share ---
>
> decreasing the number of times the veterinarian comes out to visit you.
>
> By the same token, the barn aisle was not designed for the running of
> the Derby and is not meant to serve as a racetrack. Dragging me down the
>
> aisle in leaps and bounds is not how "leading" is supposed to work, even
>
> if someone happens to drop a saddle on the floor as we're passing.
> Pulling loose and running off is also discouraged (although I admit it
> does allow you to run faster).
>
> I assure you that blowing pieces of paper do not eat horses. While I
> realize you are very athletic, I do not need a demonstration of your
> ability to jump 25 feet sideways from a standing start while swapping
> ends in midair, nor am I interested in your ability to emulate both a
> racehorse and a bucking bronco while escaping said piece of paper. Also,
>
> if the paper were truly a danger, it would be the height of unkindness
> to dump me on the ground in front of it as a sacrificial offering to
> expedite your escape.
>
> When I ask you to cross a small stream, you may safely assume that said
> stream does not contain crocodiles, sharks, or piranhas, nor will it be
> likely to drown you. (I have actually seen horses swimming, so I know it
>
> can be done.) I expect you to be prepared to comply with the occasional
> request to wade across some small body of water. Since I would like to
> be dry when we reach the other side of the stream, deciding to roll when
>
> we're halfway across is not encouraged behavior.
>
> I give you my solemn oath that the trailer is nothing but an alternate
> means of transportation for distances too long for walking. It is not a
> lion's den or a dragon's maw, nor will it magically transform into such.
>
> It is made for horses, and I promise you that you will indeed fit into
> your assigned space. Please also bear in mind that I generally operate
> on a schedule, and wherever we're going, I would really like to get
> there today.
>
> For the last time, I do not intend to abandon you to a barren,
> friendless existence. If I put you in a turn-out paddock, I promise that
>
> no predators will eat you, and I will come back in due time to return
> you to your stable. It is not necessary to run in circles, whinny
> pathetically, threaten to jump the fence, or paw at the gate. Neither
> your stable mates nor I will have left the premises. The other horses
> standing peacefully in adjacent paddocks amply demonstrate that it is
> possible to enjoy being turned out for exercise.
>
> Finally, in closing, my strong and gentle companion, I would like to
> point out that, whatever might happen between horses and their people,
> we humans will always love you. In fact, our bonds with you help create
> new bonds among ourselves, even with total strangers. Wherever there are
>
> horses, there will be "horse people", and for the blessings you bestow
> upon us, we thank you.
>
> Most sincerely yours,
>
> Your Adoring Owner
> P.S.
If there is any equines out there that would like to respond (from the horses point of view ) i should be delighted to hear from you.
>
>
>
> Dear Horse,
>
> I love you very much, and I truly cherish your presence in my life. I
> would never wish to criticize you in any way. However, there are a few
> trivial details regarding our relationship that I think might bear your
> consideration.
>
> First of all, I am already aware that horses can run faster than I can.
> I do not need you to demonstrate that fact each time I come to get you
> in from the field.
>
> Please remember that I work long and hard to earn the money to keep you
> in the style to which you have become accustomed. In return, I think you
>
> should at least pretend to be glad to see me, even when I'm carrying a
> bridle instead of a bucket of feed.
>
> It should be fairly obvious to you that I am a human being who walks on
> only two legs. I do not resemble a scratching post. Do not think that,
> when you rub your head against me with 1,000 pounds of force behind it,
> I believe that it wasn't your intention to send me flying. I am also
> aware that stomping on my toes while you are pushing me around is
> nothing but adding injury to insult.
>
> I understand I cannot expect you to cover your nose when you sneeze, but
>
> it would be appreciated if you did not inhale large amounts of dirt and
> manure prior to aiming your sneezes at my face and shirt. Also, if you
> have recently filled your mouth with water you do not intend to drink,
> please let it all dribble from your mouth BEFORE you put your head on my
>
> shoulder. In addition, while I know you despise your worming medication,
>
> my intentions in giving it to you are good, and I really do not think I
> should be rewarded by having you spit half of it back out onto my shirt.
>
> Sometimes, I get the feeling that you are confused about the appropriate
>
> roles you should play in various situations. One small bit of advice:
> Your stone-wall imitation should be used when I am mounting and your
> speed-walker imitation when I suggest that we proceed on our way, not
> vice versa. Please also understand that jumping is meant to be a mutual
> endeavor. By "mutual", I mean that we are supposed to go over the jump
> together. You were purchased to be a mount, not a catapult.
>
> I know the world is a scary place when your eyes are on the sides of
> your head, but I did spend a significant amount of money to buy you, and
>
> I have every intention of protecting that investment. Therefore, please
> consider the following when you are choosing the appropriate behavior
> for a particular situation:
>
> When I put your head collar on you, attach one end of a lead rope to the
> head collar, and tie the other end of the lead rope to a post or ring or
> whatever, I am indicating a desire for you to remain in that locale. I
> would also like the head collar, lead rope, post, etc., to remain intact.
>
> While I admit that things like sudden loud noises can be startling, I do
>
> not consider them to be acceptable excuses for repeatedly snapping
> expensive new lead ropes (or head collars or posts) so that you can run
> madly around the yard creating havoc in your wake. Such behavior is not
> conducive to achieving that important goal that I know we both share ---
>
> decreasing the number of times the veterinarian comes out to visit you.
>
> By the same token, the barn aisle was not designed for the running of
> the Derby and is not meant to serve as a racetrack. Dragging me down the
>
> aisle in leaps and bounds is not how "leading" is supposed to work, even
>
> if someone happens to drop a saddle on the floor as we're passing.
> Pulling loose and running off is also discouraged (although I admit it
> does allow you to run faster).
>
> I assure you that blowing pieces of paper do not eat horses. While I
> realize you are very athletic, I do not need a demonstration of your
> ability to jump 25 feet sideways from a standing start while swapping
> ends in midair, nor am I interested in your ability to emulate both a
> racehorse and a bucking bronco while escaping said piece of paper. Also,
>
> if the paper were truly a danger, it would be the height of unkindness
> to dump me on the ground in front of it as a sacrificial offering to
> expedite your escape.
>
> When I ask you to cross a small stream, you may safely assume that said
> stream does not contain crocodiles, sharks, or piranhas, nor will it be
> likely to drown you. (I have actually seen horses swimming, so I know it
>
> can be done.) I expect you to be prepared to comply with the occasional
> request to wade across some small body of water. Since I would like to
> be dry when we reach the other side of the stream, deciding to roll when
>
> we're halfway across is not encouraged behavior.
>
> I give you my solemn oath that the trailer is nothing but an alternate
> means of transportation for distances too long for walking. It is not a
> lion's den or a dragon's maw, nor will it magically transform into such.
>
> It is made for horses, and I promise you that you will indeed fit into
> your assigned space. Please also bear in mind that I generally operate
> on a schedule, and wherever we're going, I would really like to get
> there today.
>
> For the last time, I do not intend to abandon you to a barren,
> friendless existence. If I put you in a turn-out paddock, I promise that
>
> no predators will eat you, and I will come back in due time to return
> you to your stable. It is not necessary to run in circles, whinny
> pathetically, threaten to jump the fence, or paw at the gate. Neither
> your stable mates nor I will have left the premises. The other horses
> standing peacefully in adjacent paddocks amply demonstrate that it is
> possible to enjoy being turned out for exercise.
>
> Finally, in closing, my strong and gentle companion, I would like to
> point out that, whatever might happen between horses and their people,
> we humans will always love you. In fact, our bonds with you help create
> new bonds among ourselves, even with total strangers. Wherever there are
>
> horses, there will be "horse people", and for the blessings you bestow
> upon us, we thank you.
>
> Most sincerely yours,
>
> Your Adoring Owner
> P.S.
If there is any equines out there that would like to respond (from the horses point of view ) i should be delighted to hear from you.
